Getting Rid of Matthew
HELEN lives that saddest of all lives, the lonely existence of the hidden mistress. Her beloved Matthew has been promising to leave his wife for years.
Hers is a world of needy secret calls, Christmas spent alone.
Then she starts thinking about what she doesn't like about Matthew. The list is short at first - things like that annoyingly crinkly skin on his belly - but it grows.
Everyone in Getting Rid of Matthew makes lists - of bad husband-stealing types; of reasons for leaving lovers; of the pros and cons of pregnancy.
When Helen gets standoffish, Matthew gets interested. Leaving his wife, Sophie (herself a former mistress), he moves in with Helen. She swiftly finds out that there's less to him than when he was desirably distant.
In a mad moment Helen starts stalking Sophie, and decides that Matthew must be reinserted into his family.
A total comedy of mistress manners, Getting Rid of Matthew should be issued to anyone considering falling in love with someone married.