Getting Rid of Matthew
Jane Fallon
Penguin €??
HELEN lives that saddest of all lives, the lonely existence of the hidden mistress. Her beloved Matthew has been promising to leave his wife for years.
Hers is a world of needy secret calls, Christmas spent alone.
Then she starts thinking about what she doesn't like about Matthew. The list is short at first - things like that annoyingly crinkly skin on his belly - but it grows.
Everyone in Getting Rid of Matthew makes lists - of bad husband-stealing types; of reasons for leaving lovers; of the pros and cons of pregnancy.
When Helen gets standoffish, Matthew gets interested. Leaving his wife, Sophie (herself a former mistress), he moves in with Helen. She swiftly finds out that there's less to him than when he was desirably distant.
In a mad moment Helen starts stalking Sophie, and decides that Matthew must be reinserted into his family.
A total comedy of mistress manners, Getting Rid of Matthew should be issued to anyone considering falling in love with someone married.
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