Overheard in Dublin Again
Gerard Kelly & Sinead Kelly
(Gill & Macmillan €??)
THE ONE I remember is the clerk in a newsagent in Dublin Airport. Lorcan, the customer who reported the conversation was buying Moleskin brand notebooks, and when he went to pay the €17, the saleswoman was shocked at the price.
"That's because they're Moleskin," he explained. And she murmured to herself, "Ah, the poo-ur moles."
There's something so sweet about it.
These web anecdotes are probably as typical of Abu Dhabi or Dakar as they are of Dublin, but every city thinks its own eccentricities are unique.
Here you have the southside boy in a shop who, asked if there's anything he wants, says "Thanks to a good education and wealthy parents I want for nothing; however, I do require a copy of the Irish Times."
There's the beggar looking for "any spare change" and the passer-by who says "Sorry, I've only a fifty" - so the beggar replies "That's all right, I'll give you change."
The bus driver who slams on his brakes, then apologises over the intercom that "some GOBSHITE" just ran the red lights in front of him.
At the All-Ireland hurling final the crowd are warned to stay off the pitch. The game ends, the crowd surges onto the pitch, and over the tannoy comes "Plan B, Plan B, Plan B" - as "PLAN B" is displayed in huge letters on the big screen.
Still selling like hotcakes, this is undoubtedly going to be the year's favourite stocking-filler.